The Feed I Need

It started with restricting,

A little bit at a time,

Bite by bite.

It started with depression,

Consuming my days,

Little by little.

It started with desire,

A desire to be perfect,

Pound by pound.

It started with control,

to have a grip on reality,

but I have lost it all.



Roman never thought he would develop an eating disorder. In fact, he never even believed it was possible for men to have disordered eating-until six months ago, when his life was turned upside-down. Following a traumatic, complicated relationship with someone that Roman met in a different psychiatric hospital, he now finds himself at an eating disorder treatment facility, on an inpatient floor being treated and getting medically stable. Not only does he not want to be there, he isn't even certain that they'll be able to help him.

And that's when Roman meets Ezra, the cute, sweet, autistic and very Jewish boy that lives across the hall.

Written in free verse poetry and told in alternating past and present perspectives, Roman faces the reality that his eating disorder may possibly stem from his interpersonal relationships with others-especially males that he is romantically interested in-and now he has a choice to make: either accept the help that is being given to him or allow the eating disorder to take control...which could ultimately lead to death.

Because when the hunger peaks, the voice starts to speak.