The Ballad of Emperor Norton

Emperor Norton is a 19th Century folk hero legendary for his charisma in the most charismatic city in the world - San Francisco. Prospering as a merchant for years, an ill-timed investment wiped away his fortune. After a short hiatus he re-emerged, penniless yet undefeated, as the self-proclaimed Emperor of the United States. Marching around in his glorious uniform, he dutifully kept the people of San Francisco delightfully amused. Even to this day, his jocund spirit parades around the city in the merry memories of his storied life.

Of the many myths and tales of his life, this ballad was mysteriously discovered in a bottle. However, nobody knows whether it was a bottle washed up on the shore or a bottle passed around in a bar. Let us suppose it is more to the lore!

In the spirit of Sir John Falstaff, Don Quixote, Ignatius Reilly and all the people who bring joy and merriment into the world, Garrett Buhl Robinson offers 2040 rip-snorting lines of hilarious verse in The Ballad of Emperor Norton.



Table of Content



Prologue

Emperor Norton's Command

Part I - Emperor Norton Saves San Francisco

The Long Arms of Emperor NortonEmperor Norton Saves San FranciscoEmperor Norton's Theory of Gravity

Part II - Emperor Norton vs. the Diabolic Machine

Norton Invents the Washing MachineParading with the ParrotsTaking a Stand against ExploitationRallying his TroopsThe Siege of the Fortress of OppressionThe Fearsome Battle

Part III - The Trial of Emperor Norton

Emperor Norton Plays the MarketEmperor Norton in Court

Epilogue

Emperor Norton's Everlasting Day