Tarlton's Jests

This is an easy-to-read retelling of "Tarlton's Jests, "which tells anecdotes about Queen Elizabeth I's favorite jester. He is thought to have been the Yorick in Hamlet's famous soliloquy.

This book contains the original "Tarlton's Jests" in addition to the retelling.

25. How Tarlton Deceived a Doctor of Physic [Medicine].

Tarlton, to satisfy the humors [moods] of certain gentlemen who were his familiar acquaintances, decided to test the skill of a simple Doctor of Physic, who dwelt not far from Islington, and this is what happened: 

Tarlton took a urinal, filled it half full of good wine, and carried it to this doctor, saying it was a sick man's urine. The doctor viewed it, and tossing it up and down, as though he had great knowledge, he said that the patient whose urine it is, is full of gross humors, and has need of purging, and needs to be bled some ten ounces of blood. 

"No, you dunce," Tarlton replied. "It is good p*ss," and he drank it all and then threw the urinal at the doctor's head.

 

 

Do you know a language other than English? If you do, I give you permission to translate this book, copyright your translation, publish or self-publish it, and keep all the royalties for yourself. (Do give me credit, of course, for the original retelling.)

 

I would like to see my retellings of classic literature used in schools, so I give permission to the country of Finland (and all other countries) to give copies of this book to all students forever. I also give permission to the state of Texas (and all other states) to give copies of this book to all students forever. I also give permission to all teachers to give copies of this book to all students forever.

 

Teachers need not actually teach my retellings. Teachers are welcome to give students copies of my eBooks as background material. For example, if they are teaching Homer's Iliad and Odyssey, teachers are welcome to give students copies of my Virgil's Aeneid: A Retelling in Prose and tell students, "Here's another ancie