Sophie Longhoofer's Six Rules for Seniors

Aging is like having sex the first time. Since you have never done the deed before, you have no idea what to expect. I have never been old before, either. Which means, I face it with a mixture of dread and excited anticipation, kind of like sex. The only difference is now I do not have to worry about getting pregnant.

For more than forty years, my alter-ego, Sophie Longhoofer, and I have invaded conventions, churches, and snuck into country clubs, only to be rebuffed because of how Sophie looks. In this hilarious look at aging, Sophie comes out of her shell to offer words of wisdom for anyone moving into or already in the "senior" category of aging.