Secret Sorrow

The pain is deep, but the wound is not one those who are feeling it are free to openly discuss without shame - the desire to be a grandparent. It runs deep in some. In 2014, when author Dr. Miller first experienced this feeling of loss and then began her research on the topic, she discovered there was no one word to describe this subset of the population... and subsequently coined the term "non-grandparent" in articles she wrote for grief periodicals. 

Secret Sorrow: Grieving and Healing as a Non-Grandparent in a Grandparenting World honors those among us who long to be a grandparent, but who have not reached this life milestone. Expanding beyond her lived experience, the author includes stories from other non-grandparents to motivate healing discussions on the topic. This book offers non-grandparents concrete ways to cope with their sorrow, including communication and self-care strategies.



READER REVIEWS

"Secret Sorrow is a compassionate and necessary book for those who find themselves navigating life as non-grandparents. Dr. Miller opens the door to a deeply personal and often silent grief-one that is rarely acknowledged but profoundly felt. ... With grace and wisdom, Dr. Miller invites non-grandparents to embrace a space of radical welcome and belonging, where their experiences, emotions, and journeys are not only validated but honored."

~Hasshan Batts, DHSc, MSW, Philanthropist, Author, and National Thought Leader on Healing, Community, and Radical Welcome

 

"Secret Sorrow is a long overdue book for those experiencing the profound loss of being a 'non-grandparent' in a grandparenting world. Non-grandparents' pervasive, persistent grief is rarely understood by family, friends or professionals. ... As a public health nurse, educator, administrator, I am also an advocate for Secret Sorrow to be an integral component of nursing education, and maternal-child health services. No longer should non-grandparents keep secret their sorrow."

~Katherine (Kay) Kinsey, PhD, RN, FAAN, FCPP

"This book gives voice to a group that is often overlooked, while experiencing incredible sadness, grief and perhaps isolation as 'non-grandparents.' It includes the personal story of the author and others who are trying to come to terms with the loss and/or absence of a grandparenting role that they always assumed would be part of their life. ... The sheer existence of this book offers a community to non-grandparents and insight and expertise to those that may care for them either as health professionals, friends or family."

~Lucy Wolf Tuton, PhD