Rescuing his Bride

How awful would it be to get abducted by aliens? Absolutely terrible, right? You lose your entire life, your friends, your family, everything. BUT! Imagine this: you get abducted, nearly sold into slavery, and then boom! In comes your hero. A hot, futuristic alien, He-man, Fabio, warrior type. He busts down the door, shoots all the bad guys, scoops you into his arms...and then? Happily ever after, of course. He takes you back to his place.

But...what if his place turns out to be a grimy cargo hauler, packed sardine-tight with a bunch of creeps who haven't seen a woman in God knows how long? You end up not being able to communicate with anyone-or you would be able to if anyone bothered to speak the one language programed into your translator. At some point it dawns on you: you've got no money, no clothes, and nowhere to go. You're tethered to this guy. But that's not even the worst of it! Turns out your "hero" is the lamest, most selfish lover you've ever been cursed to encounter.

What then? And what if, this sent-from-Hell alien boyfriend decides to bet you in a game of space poker? Believe me, it really couldn't be any more of a nightmare. You might even wonder when the real rescue was going to begin.