Only Four Years Old

Syeena Malone has written about her repressed memories of Easter Sunday when she was Only Four Years Old. These memories began with a nightmare in the spring of 1989. For the next twelve years, the memories began to surface, very slowly, one detail at a time. It became apparent that Easter Sunday was a trauma anniversary for her but it was in the spring of 2001 that the worst memory surfaced, finally explaining everything.

Only Four Years Old tells the story of incest by her grandfather, denial and shame from her grandmother as well as abandonment and betrayal by her mother to whom she turned for support, help and understanding. It also tells about her struggle after leaving the cult that she had trusted to provide spiritual support, acceptance and love.

The most important part of the story is the healing process with three therapists for over 25 years. Melia supported Syeena for the first ten years and the early repressed memories. After Syeena moved, Olivia was her therapist when she remembered that Easter Sunday and for about thirteen years, walking with her through the family garbage but also other areas in which she needed support. Finally Steve guided her through the EMDR process, a healing modality for people suffering with PTSD. (PTSD has been found to be very effective for soldiers returning from Iraq, Iran and Afghanistan and anyone suffering from any trauma, remembered or forgotten.)

Meditation, guided imagery and metaphysical teachers have been significant for her healing process.