My Tribute to a Remarkable Woman

Dear Delois: This is a strange letter. I never planned to write to you after your death. But your leaving has left a painful hole in my life. I don't like the empty grieving feeling I have inside. I miss you. I miss it all-your voice, your presence, your laughter, your raising your eyebrows. You know what else I miss? You're dreaming out loud. I miss our dreams and the future we won't have here together. I feel cheated. This was not the time for you to die. Or it wasn't the time I thought you should. I sincerely thought that I would go first, due the many operations and months of recuperation. Now I can't thank you for the 12 years of caregiving and your expressions of love penetrating through the grimace of pain I could see in your face. I hope one of your angel assistants will pass this note on to you with my thanks. I've wanted you to come to me, and I wish I could come to you. I don't like being alone. Oh, I know there are others around, but they aren't you It's been months. I'm learning to rest in the hope that someday, some way, we will see each other again. I'm taking a big step now. I am taking baby steps to go on with my life. I feel strange saying this to you, but you went away, you were taken from me, but I have been holding on to you. Now I need to live life again. I have our history together, memories together, and a rich life because of you. Thank you. I'm letting you go, but I will never leave you. I will have to let you go many more times. I know that. I miss you. I love you. You are never forgotten. ---Alton