My Boyfriend, My Secret, and the Universe

What if you could hear every thought on a first date?

Luna Johnson has a secret: she can read minds.

Twenty-five years ago, baby Luna was accidentally kidnapped by aliens who mistook her for an ambassador's daughter. Rather than admit their error, they raised her as their own, training her to be the perfect spy. Now she's back on Earth with telepathic technology, a mission to study human behavior, and absolutely no idea how to be normal.

She thought the hardest part would be pretending to be human. She was wrong. The hardest part is wanting to BE human.

Her crash course in Earth life includes:

Corporate confusion: Learning that "synergy" means nothing, "urgent" is rarely urgent, and everyone hates Monday but pretends productivity is their passion. Her first team meeting reveals seventeen people thinking about lunch while discussing quarterly projections.Female friendship: Discovering that women can simultaneously tell you "that dress is cute" while thinking "where did she find that, 1987?" but still defend you to the death. Wine nights become her favorite Earth ritual, where secrets spill, solidarity reigns, and someone always cries in the bathroom (but in a bonding way).Falling for Tim: He's the IT guy who apologizes to printers, owns four versions of the same hoodie, and thinks about tacos during romantic moments. His anxious inner monologue should be a red flag, but somehow his thoughts "Don't be weird, don't be weird, oh God I'm being weird" make her feel less alone.

But having a superpower in the dating world isn't super at all.

When you can hear your boyfriend mentally writing pro/con lists about your relationship during movie night, or know your boss is planning layoffs while giving pep talks, or realize your best friend is hiding heartbreak behind her smile, how do you pretend you don't know? How do you build authentic relationships when authenticity could expose your literally alien past?

Luna masters the art of:

Pretending surprise at surprise parties she heard being planned for weeksNot responding to thoughts people haven't voiced (harder than it sounds)Acting shocked by plot twists her date already spoiled by thinking too loudNavigating girl code when you know everyone's actual opinions about everyone else

Then comes the night everything unravels.

One too many glasses of wine at a rooftop party. Too many people thinking too many secrets. Luna's carefully constructed human life explodes in a spectacular display of mind-reading gone wrong. As viral videos trend and her friends demand answers, Luna faces an impossible choice:

Come clean about her extraterrestrial upbringing and risk losing everyone she's grown to love? Or disappear back to the stars, leaving behind the messy, beautiful, complicated life she never knew she wanted?

Because here's what the aliens never taught her: Humans don't love despite knowing the truth. They love because of it. And maybe, just maybe, being weird together is better than being perfect alone.

A laugh-out-loud romantic comedy about finding love, friendship, and your place in the universe, even if you're technically an alien.

PERFECT FOR FANS OF: Sophie Kinsella's hilarious heroinesEmily Henry's heartfelt humorThe Rosie Project meets The Hitchhiker's Guide to the GalaxyAnyone who's ever felt like an alien trying to figure out EarthMY BOYFRIEND, MY SECRET, AND THE UNIVERSE is a complete, standalone novel that asks the important questions: Can love survive radical honesty? Do aliens understand wine nights? And why DO humans say "how are you" when they don't want to know?