Love With My Own Mirror

I never thought my love story would start with frostbite. Or that I would end up learning more about myself from a Canadian man with a lopsided grin and ski goggles than from a decade of therapy and self-help books. But there I was on top of a mountain in Switzerland, literally gasping for air, not just from the altitude, but from the way he looked at me like he already knew me. Like he had always known me. And just like that, Michael and I collided, two people with passports in hand and apparently, the same soul frequency.

I used to think love was supposed to be easy. Boy meets girl, sparks fly, wedding bells, babies, happily ever after. The whole Pinterest board. But what happened with Michael was not easy. It was like God said, "Sure, you want love, but how about we burn you down and make you rebuild yourself first?" And I said, "Okay cool, I have no idea what that means," and then got on that ski lift.

People always want to talk about soulmates like it is some romantic, glittery concept, but I am here to tell you there is a huge difference between a soulmate and a twin flame. A soulmate feels like a best friend you just met at a coffee shop. A twin flame feels like your own reflection walked up, slapped you in the face, and whispered, "Time to wake up." And then they run away, because of course they do.

I learned the hard way that chasing a twin flame is like chasing a ghost. For months after that trip, we texted every day. We talked about everything, except actually seeing each other again. He kept me close enough to feel like he was there, but far enough that I could not touch him. It was torture, and I was hooked.

I could write an entire book just about what it feels like to be the chaser. The sleepless nights, the overanalyzing of every emoji he sent, the endless playlists that became soundtracks to my longing. But somewhere along the way, I realized this was not about winning him over. It was about finally sitting with myself.

Let me just tell you, nothing prepares you for that moment when you figure out that you cannot outrun your own reflection. It is everywhere you go. On a ski slope, in an airport lounge, in the middle of a Balinese jungle while you are meditating and trying not to think about the guy who blocked you from his Instagram stories.

So this is my story, the real story. It is messy, it is wild, and it is probably nothing like what you think twin flames are supposed to be. It is not about finding someone who completes you. It is about finding someone who makes you realize you were whole all along, even if it takes a very complicated, very Canadian man to prove it.