Jasper's Foul Tongue

Imagine if Huck Finn was a girl...with an obnoxious talking sword.

The Civil War's ragin', every nation's been magicked into a different historical time, and my dumb sword won't stop tellin' bad jokes.

You ever get stuck next to a church belfry and some dadburn fool is ringin' the bells like he's some sort o' drunk Quasimodo and it gives you a all-day headache? Welcome to my world, y'all. I have the enchanted spirit of a smart-alecky boy yappin' in my red-haired noggin all day, trapped in this shape-shiftin' sword called Morphageus.

Yeah, I know that name's ridiculous six ways from Sunday, so I just call him Jasper. Anyways, we're on the run from eleventy-dozen bad guys sent by a bunch of black sorcerers called the Honourable Merchantry. They want me and Jasper so they can make the world an even more awful place than it already is. That fuels their evil magick somehow.

I reckon they ought not be allowed to do that.

So far we've survived all manner of demons, undead Confederates, lady assassins, cursed magick-slingin' kids, giant ravens, and whatnot. Even old-timey conquistadors. Now we're in Europa, in Hellenic Lusitania, up against the crazy god Dionysus (really) and his horde of 10,000 zombie lady worshipers. Yep, we're hip-deep in poop monsters, too...again.

All this is so we can rescue my only friend Tommy from a Merchantry dungeon. And the clock's tickin'.

But my biggest problem is Jasper, who won't do magick fer me without I do him icky favors like drinkin' whiskey and smokin' stogies. Boys! Yuck!

Filled with allusions to classic literature and real historical events, the Legacy Stone series pokes fun at the whole young adult 'you're the chosen one and here's your quest' genre.