How I Became God

"In the beginning, I was dust. Then sand. Then stone. Then... somehow, a god."

In this darkly hilarious memoir, an rock recounts its absurd journey from geological irrelevance to divine reverence. Through millennia of silence, erosion and unsolicited worship, How I Became God traces the evolution of human belief, one ridiculous step at a time.

From the first sculptor with daddy issues to priests with profit margins, from incense-scented manipulation to wars fought over chipped idols, this book lays bare the hilarious tragedy of humanity's need to believe in something, anything, as long as it promises blessings, rain or better crops.

Told in the voice of a stone that never asked for any of this, it's a satirical journey through faith, fraud and the ultimate cosmic joke:

People made me God. And now they can't take it back.

Warning: This book contains, existential comedy and surprisingly moving reflections on belief, manipulation and the weight of being a stone.

Also: absolutely no miracles.