Great Deflategate Conspiracy

The biggest scandal in the annals of sports has rocked the nation. At the center of it are The Genius, the Golden Boy, and the greatest team in the history of pro football. Will they survive it with their reputations in tact or will they sink down into the deep, dark depths of dishonor with Charlie Hustle, Lance Armstrong, and the Chicago Black Sox? The Great Deflategate Conspiracy: A Farce of our Times rips the pigskin off and tells the wholly imaginary story of what really happened. Excerpt:'The following week was the League championship game to determine which team would go to the Extravaganza Bowl. It would be the Minutemen against the Hoosier State Avenging Angels. The team from America's heartland was a decided underdog, though a heavily sentimental one. Outside of their home fan base, the Minutemen were reviled across the land. Hatred of the team had grown to psychotic proportions, driven by a combination of factorsthe Golden Boy's goldenness, The Genius's genius, the overall success of the team in consistently rising above the competition despite rules designed to enforce parity. The suspicion was rampant that none of this could be legitimatethat such achievement was not possible without unfair advantages. To accept that it was due to hard work, discipline, and intelligence meant that the other 30 teams in the league weren't experiencing similar results because they weren't as hard working, disciplined, and smart. It was easier to view the Minutemen as a rogue outfit than your own team as inferior. Thus, whatever diabolical scheme Olotoonji had in mind for the big game, it would have the unspoken support of a largely grateful nation.'