From Scratch

Making decisions after living in survival mode is never easy. You get used to living in fear, in silence, in reaction. So when the time comes to choose to set boundaries, to walk away, to start again it can feel terrifying. But you must do it. Even when you're afraid. Even when you're tired. Because that decision... is the beginning of your healing. The boundaries you create may seem simple to others like silence, like distance, like saying "no" but they are sacred. They must be respected. And you must be the first to honour them. Especially if you have children. Your kids don't need a perfect version of you. They need a healed version. A present version. A version who knows that peace is more important than appearances. Keeping a family "for the sake of the children" when that family includes abuse, fear, or pain is not healthy. Children don't need both parents in the house if one parent is hurting the other. What they need is safety. What they need is you, whole and strong and alive. You don't want your children to go through what you went through. So let the healing start with you. You may feel like you're starting from scratch. But that's okay. Because from scratch, you can build anything. And what you build will be stronger than anything you left behind. With all my heart, Keisha Haniyah