Dave Store Massacre

The Dave Store is quite possibly the greatest retailenterprise in American history. Selling everything from lawnmowers to Pop Tarts to wine-cask-sized jars of dill pickles,the Dave Store doesn't just dominate the retail market, it isthe retail market. That is, until an employee at an outlet insmall-town Jackson, Missouri launches a wildcat strike. Thencompany owner Dave Blandine, a retail legend known formerciless cost-cutting and a glass eye the size of a doorknob,decides to take a stand against organized labor. He sends his half-witted son and heir, along with themegalomaniacal head of a security company and nine heavilyarmedagents to quell the unrest. They are met by Jackson'ssharp-as-a-blade lady mayor, and its laconic, marijuana-smokingpolice chief who is famous for his two-gunned marksmanship. Standing between these antagonists is the Dave Store'slocal manager, a sycophantic nebbish with a penchant forByronic poetry, and his wife, a 15-year-old girl in a 25-year-oldwoman's body. As the strike deteriorates, both sides reachfor their guns. And the town moves inexorably toward massmurder. But cheer up. It's a comedy. Loosely based on the story of the Matewan massacre--the 1920 shoot-out between striking coal miners and armedstrike-breakers in small-town West Virginia--The Dave StoreMassacre is a satire in an American tradition that extends fromMark Twain and Dorothy Parker to Christopher Buckley andPaul Mooney.